Very hard to post lately

I've been quite caught up in another blog and I've been neglecting myself. Consequently, I am now up at nearly midnight feeling like I forgot to do something. I sit at my computer and I'm automatically drawn here.

It's been a really long week.

I work in a church in what is essentially a one person office. I never know who is going to call or walk through the door and what their needs might me. I'm well equipped to handle homelessness, hunger, some abuse..but when suicide comes a knockin...I have to step back.

Fortunately, I had a great resource help me out on what to do (call the police and her family) so everything is turning out fine, but it's still hard to watch. I feel for these people..that they are hurting so much. A pastor at my church told me that it's not my job to fix people's pain, but simply to carry it for them, for just a little while. Give them a respite. I would give these people my very blood if I thought it would help them find their path. Unfortunately, I am paying a high price. I leave work on days like this feeling exhausted, weepy, unsure and unable to sleep.

Good night for now.

Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury,pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much
seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen